wine to water to wine

Jesus said, “I am the Vine, and you are the branches…Those who remain in me…will produce much fruit. (John 15)” I see no problems here. That all sounds really good. But fruit doesn’t really do much for me. I like it, alright, but I want something more. I want to get drunk in the gifts and miracles Jesus has for me.
So why am I afraid to be crushed to make wine?
Why do I always complain when He breaks me down and throws out what sucks?
Why do I tell Him, “You know, I’d rather not. Instead, I’ll think I’ll do this one my way.”
I AM NOT FRANK SINATRA.
And in case you didn’t notice, Frank is dead. Jesus is not.
James says in chapter one, that when troubles come our way, we should consider it an opportunity to grow! We are being pruned! We are branches and we like to go our own way, but that way leads to crap. That way got us where we are.

I’ll go Jesus’ way.
Sorry this blog was really churchy, but I’m just sick of my own crap.

new life

i hate to read my Bible. its huge, for one thing. i mean, the thing is just a little leather-bound, six by four inch thing that fits into the messenger bag i carry. but its thick! and the letters are tiny. when i look at the pages i get overwhelmed and that is a crappy feeling. i know that i should read it, but i dont even know where to start. so one night at youth group, we read a passage from the book of James. that night i decided that i really like James, the person. he’s a “no b.s.” kind of guy, if you dont mind my slang. he’s so to the point, no beating around the bush. i’m on a tangent. i read James almost daily for about three weeks. when it started to get monotonus, i moved to a different book. i like the small ones–they only take me but fifteen minutes to read, and i like to read them. two reasons: one, i feel like i’ve done my duty as a good Jesus-follower. two, i really get things out of my time. try it. start with james, he’s good. or philippians, or galatians, or colosians. any of those are good starters.

now about this “new life” thing i’ve talked about for a few days. i’ve found a passage that might help you out, if you are considering my challenge to be real. the author of colosians (i assume it’s paul, since he wrote so many of these but i’m probably wrong) writes a little blipit of what we should be like, following The Way. verse 13 particularly caught my eye, i think because it was what God wanted me to work on. in fact, i wrote it inside my locker (with a sharpie) so that every time i open the locker, i see it and am reminded. “Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.“

Be careful to assume that this life will be easy. you may lose friends. you will become something of an outsider. this verse was a big one for me because i go to school everyday and am picked on all day. i consider myself a “cool kid.” but not at school. they laugh at me when i dont want them to. they make fun of me behind my back occasionally (usually its just to my face). and if i dont go to them, i would eat lunch alone.

but i am not alone. i am never alone.
you will never be alone.
no matter how lonely you become, you will never be alone. keep fighting, no matter how hard it is. if you need prayer, please ask. i have prayed for strength to those of you who wont ask me. and for those who will, wisdom.

May God’s grace be with you.

dont get me wrong

I feel that I should apologize. I am sorry to any one who thought me just one of those cynics who goes nuts for a few hours about life, liberty and taxes. Consider this a warning: This “me” is not going away. I’m not just someone who decided something in a moment of deep thought and then forgot it after I slept. But I am also not someone who only talks. If you read a recent blog of mine, I spoke of James’ passage about works. Let me reiterate.

FAITH WITHOUT WORKS IS DEAD. You can talk about change all you want, but until the moment you act on your faith, you might as well not have it. Claiming Jesus as your master will get you killed in hundreds of countries all over the world, but for Americans, its no big deal. Whatev. I say this has to stop! I’m tired of people going, “Yeah, I guess I’m a Christian.” Well?! Are you, or are you NOT?!

I AM!

Who’s with me?

the worthless church

when i look at the church as a whole where it stands today, i get sad. i miss the days of the Church, where the early believers worked together calling each other brothers and sisters, and loving everyone all the time. we are so full of this petty word play, and all of our high and righteousness that we forget that there is a man lying in the ditch next to the road where we trod. i’m waiting for the day of this Samaritan (whom “everyone” disliked, even hated) who will come along and show us all how to do this “Jesus Following.” if jesus’ teachings are so simple (which the Bible shows them to be so) why cant we follow them? i think that we forget the most important part of this phenomenal teaching — LOVE.
if we as a church can just love everyone (especially not because they deserved it), we can learn how to “do christianity.”

the death of life

It has been a while since I have written to you. I have been pretty discouraged about blogging lately, because my last blog yielded no comments. I did, however, receive many hits. So perhaps it was just what I wrote. Anyway, I am going to start logging my finding on the book of James, which I am studying. I have been reading it regularly for some time now, and think I have an understanding for what it says enough to show others what I have learned. Let me warn you now, this may sting a little.

I will jump around in the study, but rest assured, I will cover the entire book. Maybe a few times. There’s a lot in there. It’s only five chapters and, in my Bible, four pages. So it’s not a long book. I will dispense with any further introduction and dive in.

Faith without works is DEAD.

That is the most terrifying thing I have ever read. In chapter two, verses fourteen through twenty-six, James writes how to be a Christian. If you ever wanted to know, this is as simple as it gets. Our faith goes hand in hand with good works, or deeds. You CANNOT have one without the other. So Christians will do good works. Simple enough. Scary part: (v15 16) If you fail to do a good work, you are not having faith. In v21 James shows how Abraham was counted faithful and righteous: his obedience. His obedience (which can only be shown through actions) made him worthy to be called God’s friend (Isaiah 41:8).

If you are not showing faith through good works, don’t tell people you have it. Any fool can believe (2:19). But it takes more to act. Band-aids anyone?

new year. new outlook. new blog.

It’s New Year’s Day, so I guess I should write something.

My life has changed dramatically in the past three months. It’s pretty wicked, if you ask me. Every time I think about the future, I get this weird feeling. Each time I drive home from school I realize that I won’t do that very many more times. I go out with friends whom I have known for a very long time and think that in one year, I might not even talk to them more than once a month. Some of my best friends I actually have stopped talking to very much, just because it will be easier to sever contact later if I start it now…

College is scary and yet exciting. I am moving out no more than three weeks after school is over, and I graduate. I can’t stand to be here any more. I love my family and my house, but I have lived in comfort for almost 18 years and have had everything I needed. I am going to intentionally take all that away.

I’m in a pretty serious relationship with a really great girl right now. That’s scary, because I’ve never had any real serious relationships like this. She isn’t going to read this blog because I don’t think she knows about it, so I feel relaxed about saying that, when I consider the future, I have a really difficult time imagining one without her. I’ve been in “flings” before, where I really thought that I knew what I was doing and I used words that people told me I didn’t understand, but I knew better than them; I was a teenager. I have realized that love is definitely not when you KNOW you are in love, it is when you have no idea what you are doing, and are terrified to step into something new and different, and you still never really found out what to call it. At least, that’s my take on it. I think I am in love because I don’t know what love is. Any help would be appreciated.

As for the new year, my only real resolution is to figure out a game plan for the next two years. I’m using this year as a searching year. I am getting out of the house. I am getting a job and a car. I am going to Cornerstone 2008. That’s it, and anything else is either none of your business or I haven’t figured out what it is.

I am going on a vision quest. Do you want anything from Starbucks?

snowed in

I realized this morning that I haven’t written a blog since August.

If there is anyone out there with RSS feeds of my blogs, or I am on your GoogleReader, or any of those awesome tools, I apologize. You were prepared. I was not. .. Okay, now that that is done, I will tell you what is up.

College. I love it and hate it at the same time. I absolutely cannot wait to go to college. I’m sure that I will have so much fun and make so many friends and do amazing things while I am out there on my own. However, I have NO IDEA where I am going to go. I was planning to go to IPFW and there was no question about it. I was fine.  I was comfortable…

…I was comfortable?

Apparently God hates it when I’m comfortable, because soon after I realized how comfortable I was he decided to go “poof” into my life and show me something that is both terrifying and exhilarating. Enter: University of Colorado in Boulder, CO.

What is wrong with schools in Indiana? Absolutely nothing. Most state schools look the same. There’s really nothing special about this school, except for the fact that three of my best friends are planning to do something nuts. They want to move to Boulder and live there for a year so they can go to the school for the in-state price. They want to buy a house and share it between the three of them. I said, “Umm, okay?”

“Just check out the school,” they said. I did. I liked it. It’s a nice school. If they weren’t going, then the idea would be insane. But I would not be alone. If I stayed in Fort Wayne, I would be more alone there than in Colorado.

So now I have no idea what I’m doing. Just so you know.